【Struggling to Keep Up with My Partner’s Conversation】Tips for Smoother Communication and Understanding What Your Lover Says

【Struggling to Keep Up with My Partner's Conversation】Tips for Smoother Communication and Understanding What Your Lover Says
Laugho Haremi

Hello! We are laugho and haremi.


I heard that Wataru Endo has transferred to Liverpool!


Wataru Endo…? Ah! The player Laugho said was good during the World Cup!


Exactly! I really hope he shines on the field!


Is Endo a forward?


No, you’ve got it wrong! He’s more of a defensive-minded midfielder. When he was with Stuttgart, they called him the ‘Duel Monster’ because his defense was incredibly good. Also, he’s skilled at making runs from behind and picking up second balls to shoot and score. Oh, I can’t wait to see him play!


Oh… really? That’s interesting.


I didn’t understand what you said in the latter part.

Have you ever struggled with conversations with your partner?

Finding it hard to follow unfamiliar topics or long stories…

Even though it’s your partner’s story and you genuinely want to listen attentively, there are topics that are just tough to keep up with, right?

In this article, we’ll introduce ways to cope during such moments and methods to enhance your communication.


What are common concerns in conversations with a partner?

I can’t keep up when they talk about things I’m unfamiliar with.

We’ve all been there. When our partner gets excited about a topic we’re not familiar with, it can feel like we’re being left behind, right?

We might only vaguely understand the content, and it’s perplexing not knowing how to respond.

A long story where I can’t grasp the main point.

There are times when my partner’s stories are so long that I can’t figure out what they’re trying to say.

They probably have a lot they want to share, but it becomes so lengthy that it’s hard to comprehend.

Later, when they say, ‘Remember what I talked about the other day?’, it feels like I might have heard it, but then again, maybe not.

Their thoughts move so fast that I can’t keep up with the conversation.

People think at different speeds, so there are times when you can’t keep up with a partner whose thoughts move faster than yours.

There’s not much we can do about it, but sometimes I wish they’d speak a little slower.

From their perspective, they might be thinking, ‘You can at least understand this much, right?’ while speaking.

Methods to improve communication.

Observe your partner’s facial expressions closely.

Firstly, try to observe what kind of emotions your partner is conveying when they speak.

Even if you don’t understand the content of the conversation, you can at least grasp whether they’re talking about something positive or negative.

Try to change the topic when you can’t keep up with the conversation.

When a conversation becomes too lengthy and you start to lose track, it’s essential to interrupt for a moment and gather your thoughts.

A good way to do this is to interject with something like, ‘So, you’re saying 〇〇, right?’ to confirm you’ve understood the main point of what your partner is saying.

Rather than feeling cut off, your partner will likely appreciate that you’re genuinely trying to understand and will feel happy that you’re listening attentively.

When you don’t understand, ask questions.

Following up on the idea of interrupting the conversation, it’s a good idea to ask questions if there’s something you don’t understand when your partner is speaking.

Some might hesitate to do so, feeling guilty for interrupting or not wanting to seem ignorant.

But it’s precious communication time with your partner, and surely you’d want to understand what they’re saying.

Empathize with what your partner is thinking.

Don’t you feel happy when someone shows empathy for what you’ve said?

Your partner would surely be delighted if you listen with empathy when they’re speaking.

The key to empathizing is understanding ‘what your partner wants to convey and how they feel about it’.

For instance, if they say, ‘I’ve been working so hard, but I don’t feel recognized at work,’

Is it better to empathize by saying, ‘How can the company not recognize you when you’re working so hard?’ or

to reassure them by saying, ‘I know you’re always doing your best. I believe there are people at your workplace who understand and see your efforts too.’

Both responses are correct.

It’s good to understand how your partner feels based on their tone, facial expressions, and the way they speak.

Solutions for when you’re struggling to follow your partner’s conversation.

Organizing your emotions when you feel like you’re not smart enough.

Have you ever felt that you couldn’t keep up with your partner’s conversation and thought that the slowness of your thought process was the cause?

The speed of one’s thinking isn’t solely a measure of intelligence but can be influenced by the environment they grew up in and their work setting.

Depending on the topic of conversation, there are genres you might find easy to think about and others that might be challenging.

For instance, in our case, Laugho is proficient at discussing work and sports.

Haremi, on the other hand, enjoys talking about entertainment and yoga.

However, we often find it challenging to follow each other’s conversations when it’s about something the other is passionate or skilled in, and at times, it leads to miscommunications.

But this is natural. So, we communicate our weaknesses in certain topics to each other, and then we try to break down the information more or slow down the conversation pace.

Reflecting together when communication breaks down.

Having misunderstandings or misperceptions during communication is a natural occurrence.

If you ever feel that there’s a discrepancy in your understanding, it’s beneficial to take some time to reflect together.

By doing so, you can both gain a clearer understanding of each other’s thoughts, and likely, the next time a similar topic comes up, you’ll be able to communicate more effectively.

Summary | It takes time to become adept at following along in conversations.

Not being able to follow along with your partner’s conversation is natural, given that both of you have led different lives and thus have different perspectives and topics of discussion.

When you find it hard to keep up, it’s beneficial to discuss how you can better communicate with each other.

Doing so will undoubtedly strengthen your relationship.

Laugho Haremi

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